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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

summertime contd and testing!!

Sunday morning Gerri decided that she wanted to feed the dogs ALL BY HERSELF!

Victoria came over to watch and give support!

We hung around the house, watched tv and chilled till after Victoria's nap, then headed to the pool

Watch Gerri STAND up and dive into the water!!
video

We found a perfect table with a great view!
Ah, the things I do for others :)

Hard to believe that Lindsey wanted to get into the pool :) :)

Danny took off and did the slide over and over and over

VERY tired kiddos!
Ah - you will notice that Gerri is still in her bathing suit and NOT smiling!
When it came time to get dried off and dressed I discovered that Gerri's undies and short were soaking wet. When I asked her why she said she didn't know, then I did the mom thing and smelled them - pee!
The bad thing is that the kids put their suits on at the house before we left. So that meant she put the wet clothes into the bag with the dry towels and clothes knowingly!
So everything in the bag smells like pee and the kids were really grossed out.
When I tried to get to the bottom of it she just shut down, wouldn't talk at all and just pouted.
When we got home I discovered that her seat at the table was soaked as was the chair and chair cover.
I tried to get her to talk to me and explain what happened and she just kept saying sorry.
The only thing I can think of is that she did it sometime after lunch when she and Danny were watching a movie while Victoria napped.
We had her take a shower, get her pj's on and go to bed right after dinner.
I tried to tell her that she is a big girl and is responsible for her behaviour.
She was treated like a baby at the orphanage, right down to baby food. We have really tried to get her to behave and act like a big girl, especially with school coming in less than a month.
We have also been working on her talking in sentences, she has the words but has to be reminded to use her them. No matter how we tried to get her to talk she just clammed up.
I told her I was disappointed that she would pee all over herself and her chair and not say anything to mommy or daddy. She said she knew it was wrong and I guess she knew the pool wouldn't have happened.
I know this is the test phase after the honeymoon.
Monday was PT and she was still very moody and pouty.
Even Ms Sara commented on how different she was.
She did all her exercises, but would not look at me or Ms Sara.
Man that girl is SO stubborn!!!! But the good news is that the therapist redid her measurements and not only has she hit her short term goals, but she blew them away and exceeded her long term goals!!!!

I told her we loved her no matter what, but that she needed to be responsible for her actions.
She did finally tell me that she did it while watching tv. When I asked her why didn't she go to the potty which is only in the next room she said she didn't know. I then told her that if she had an accident it would have been different, but to just not want to go into the bathroom was definately a big NO-NO.
She is so unused to being told No that it is SO hard for her to deal with it.
She also does NOT cry, even when VERY upset or hurt.
She holds everything in, bottling it all up. :(
We have really tried to explain to her that we don't know how she feels if she does not tell us.
It is not all sun and roses. :) She very easily tells people that she loves them once she has met them. She really likes to act young, asking to be picked up, talking like a baby, whining alot, being inappropriate, not understanding boundaries.
We are working on consistency and her self confidence.
Hubby and I were just talking about how the "love" feeling isn't quite there yet, especially for him. It is SO different bringing a baby or toddler home versus a 6 year old.
Many families that adopt older children will say "fake it till you feel it" and it is so true. We are getting there as she grows and matures and blossoms. We see little bits of her happy confident self, but not often enough.
She has changed so much physically, now we need to work on her emotional health.

I took out the play station and we hooked up dance revolution - omg! what a riot!
Poor Danny - he has absolutely NO rythym!!

3 comments:

MoonDog said...

have you tried telling her about love and being held and all that is something that is reserved for only very special people in your family. We used to tell Ethan that if he felt like his arms needed a hug he needed to come to us and we wouldd be very happy to help him out. and if he hugged someone else we would have to have a consequence because it isnt safe to hug everyone. at first it was limited mama and papa and sister and brother. after a while we included gramma and papa. we did allow him to shake hands when meeting someone, that was an appropriate action. he came home at 2 and it was a long hard road and most days we are still traveling that road. every kid is different, ben is so shy he woudlnt even say hello to anyone!

ps look what a beauty miss GS has become!

Jodi said...

I have to admit, that was a nice view at the pool! :)

Sally-Girl! said...

Yes, I totally agree that adopting an older chidl is much different than adopting one you can hold and need to do everything for, but there are so many other wonderful things about adopting an older child. Seeing all their firsts is so exciting!

Email anytime you want to talk older child adoption!!!