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Monday, August 30, 2010

Growing up!! and Oh Man!!

Yes, we have trained them to help each other!!
Victoria is doing Gerri's hair :)
Without being asked.

And yes, mommy put a towel under her :)

Today was Victoria's orientation for Preschool!!
All she cared about was the dress up clothes!

We had parent orientation while she played, sang and colored for an hour and a half.
I took her for a donut to celebrate!! Then we hit the library :)
She is getting SO big!!! She will be 4 in one month!! Where has the time gone?!?!??!

We got an email from Gerri's teacher just before dinner letting us know that Gerri fell out of her wheelchair at the end of the day while shaking hands with another kid. So very strange, she has never come close to falling out of her chair.
When I asked her what happened at school her response was "I sorry".
We have been working on letting us know when she is sad, telling the other kids "no" and sticking up for herself.
I can count on 1 hand (on 3 fingers) how many times she has cried in the almost 5 months she has been home.
She is SO used to being stoic and not showing any emotion except happy. We keep telling her that mommy and daddy won't know if she is sad or hurt if she doesn't tell us or cries.
When she does something wrong and we correct her she immediately gets very contrite and says over and over I sorry. We keep telling her that we just want her to understand what she has done wrong and what to do in the future. I make her repeat back to me what I am saying so I know she hears what I am saying.

Back to the story, Gerri finally sat with me and explained that the little girl shook her hand goodbye and then PULLED HER OUT OF HER WHEELCHAIR!!!
This happened in front of the little girls mom and the special needs bus aide.
I asked Gerri if it hurt and she said yes. I then asked if the little girl said sorry and she said no, her mom pulled her away and left. The aide told her teacher that Gerri fell out of the wheelchair, that she must have been on the edge of the seat so they buckled her in. I wondered why her buckle was on when she came home :(
Gerri said she just got into the wheelchair and didn't say anything!

Oh man!! It just breaks my heart!!
She cried the whole time she told me the story, it was SO hard for her!
We had another chance to talk about telling someone when she is hurt and when someone does something wrong.
We told her that she needs to tell her teacher first thing in the morning what really happened.
I did send an email to the teacher and then decided to send it to the asst principal too telling them what really happened.  I also reiterated that Gerri has a joint disease and while she is very mobile and easy going, she could be seriously hurt. I asked the teacher to please talk to the little girl and to please explain that Gerri's wheelchair is serious and to let the other kids know that they need to be careful.
I hope I was not a bit over the top, but I want to make sure they take it seriously.
I will talk to the aide tomorrow morning too. I don't know if she saw anything or not. I would like to believe she just didn't see it. And of course Gerri said she was ok and said "I sorry". :(

Before bed I asked Gerri what she was going to tell her teacher in the morning and she said "I sorry"
oh man! We have a ways to go!!!


Jodi said...

Poor Gerri!

Oh man, that made me really mad!!!

I'll never understand why some kids are so mean. Never.

I feel so bad for Gerri, it's not like she hasn't been through enough in her life and now in a new school environment all.

She was so excited to start school, and I sure hope your emails straighten this out, so it doesn't happen again.


on a different note, Ms.V is as cute as ever :)

Cindy said...

You were not "over the top" with how you handled it. You were "right on"! While you don't want to be a "hover" mom - you're doing right - she has injuries that have to be protected and trust me even w/ a 14 yr old - the I'm sorry/backing down seems to be normal - we have to "stick up" for them when necessary - and especially w/ physical issues that can cause serious damage. You did GREAT mom!!!!! Don't 2nd guess yourself - you are right on and doing great!

Jill said...

Oh, my heart breaks for Gerri! I feel so bad for her too. I hope things are straightened out tomorrow and she is still excited about school.

Kylie Mc said...

u were not over the top at all. i would've gone into the school and personally discussed the matter. it's serious, esp bcuz gerri could've been seriously hurt. it's also good that u emailed the principal. ur a good mom!

poor gerri! give her lots and lots of hugs!!!

Jennifer said...

I'm so sorry that happened. That upsets me so much that the parent just walked away with her child and did NOTHING!!! Some people are just......ugh!!! I am glad you emailed the teacher and the principal!!! Good for you!! Squeeze that sweet girl for me :)

Anonymous said...

My heart breaks for Gerri, I think Jodi is right, she has been through enough in her short life already! I think you did very well sending a mail to the teacher, children needs to know they can't do something mean to any classmate! I hope Gerri becomes more open about her feelings as she gets more confident!

Chris said...

Here's a thought for you...

When we were in Ukraine visiting David, one of the little girls in his groupa started crying. She was sick and wasn't allowed to swim with the other children. One of the caregivers told her very sternly, "You're crying so I don't love you anymore".

I felt badly for the girl, and mad that the caregiver would use such a tactic to gain compliance from a child. A year later, we were at the kitchen table with David. He was acting silly and spilled his cereal all over the table and floor. He got in trouble and had to clean it up. A few minutes later, I asked David, "Does Mommy love you?" He would normally say, "YES"! This time he didn't. He said, "NO, Mommy is mad at me".

So, I'm wondering if Gerri knows you love her all the time; even when your mad, even when she's mad, sad, etc.

This is something we had to teach David.