A Huge Breakthrough!!!

I was really debating about going back to visit this afternoon, I was tired and feeling homesick. I finally decide I needed to go for Sveta, and just suck it up! In adoption language "fake it till you make it"

Here is where she LIVES 100% of the time:

She had already had snack but was SO happy I brought yoghurt!!

I asked her to close her eyes cause I had a present:

I gave her a Hello K*tty ring and necklace - oh man was she excited!!!!

She had to show everyone that came into the room:

I told her Victoria had one too and she was very happy!!!

Here she is with some gum :)

She did not know what to do with it, but sucked on it till the hard shell dissolved and then starting chewing it and told me she really liked it!!

This afternoon she wanted to spend the whole visit on my lap!! I sat in the chair next to her bed and she kept climbing right up into my lap! We looked out the window, went over her pictures again, wrote a bit in my notebook, sang abc's and had a really good visit.

The other kids in her groupa kept running up to the door and peeking in and she would shake her fist at them and yell that she was with her mama and to go away! It was SO cute!!

I felt bad because we could hear the other kids playing together, running around and singing and she was in the bedroom and not allowed to participate :( How does a 6 year old understand that! and for 7 months!

She LOVED being in my arms and kept telling me she was mama's sveta :) I told her her new name in America and she said ok! I rocked her and we just talked and sang. Every once in a while she would ask me something I would have NO idea what she was saying and would say I don't know. She would then ask faster and louder :) and I would say mama still doesn't know :)

When it came time to go I stood up and started packing everything up.  I was telling her I would see her in the morning, that I loved her and to be good till then when I heard her talking to me. When I turned around she was sobbing!! Big full body sobs! Mama please don't leave. Please stay with me. I dropped everything and sat on the bed and she asked me to hold her!! oh my gosh!

She looked like such a little girl, no big girl full of confidence like usual.

I rocked her and told her Mama will come back tomorrow.

That as soon as we have court she will be with mama and papa forever!

One of the caretakers saw what was going on and came in. She tried to tell her that I would be back after she ate and slept. It just about ripped my heart out!

I was SO happy I had come and feeling so guilty that I was in my own head. Her entire life is about to change! She finally stopped sobbing, told me she loved me, gave me a hug and kiss and said tomorrow!

Oh gosh! I cried the whole way to the market and the taxi!!

My whole attitude completely changed!

This is why we do this! For Love! Sveta deserves it!!